Guest Post by the Author of Sykosa
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Let’s
Dispense with the Games, I’m Desperate for You to Read My Book.
Dear Reader,
Recently at a
dinner, Justin attempted to convince a woman to buy his book.
Here
is how it went.
“Hello there, my
name is Justin Ordoñez and I’m passionate about life. I think knowing your
life’s passion is important to feeling positive about the future. I’m positive
about the future, and should you decide to read Sykosa, I want you to be
positive about it, too. I’m new to the area—this publishing thing—so I’m
looking for someone who will not only give Sykosa a shot, but also be chill
with who she is. I’m a confident, self-assured person who always appreciates
the good reviews, but never stresses over the bad ones, so don’t feel pressure
to…”
Wait, maybe I
shouldn’t have said “bad reviews.” It puts the thought in her head, doesn’t it?
Let’s try this again. Or should I mention I like to travel? No, that’s
ridiculous—everyone likes to travel, it’s all anyone ever says!
I can recover.
Be confident about your writing!
“What I meant to
say was I’ve had nothing but good reviews, everyone loves my writing, they’re
hypnotized by it and they can’t believe how brilliant it is!”
Yikes, I sounded
cocky there, didn’t I? That’s what she needs, isn’t it? Another cocky doofus
who thinks he knows everything and tries to make it with her at the end of the
night, even though she’s obviously kept waiting for the “save me” text from her
friend, but can’t get it because the cell phone reception is so bad here. Well,
I don’t want to be that guy who does that. I’m not that guy. Alright, I can fix this—the key is self-deprecating
humor and admitting something embarrassing.
Okay, here I go.
“Recently, I
turned thirty, and I discovered I was losing my long hair, but I decided to be
proactive and get on the Rogaine—which makes me think, every morning and
evening I put it on, of Ed Helms from The
Hangover saying, “uuuuu-sing of the Roeeee-gaine, check!”—and it’s totally
worked, my hair isn’t falling out anymore, some is growing back and…”
Geez, TMI there,
right? I’m so bad at this, we’ve only been at dinner for five minutes and I’ve
drank three glasses of water. I already have to go to the bathroom. I’ll have
to go several times at this rate. She might conclude I have an enlarged
prostate or something. She might assume my virility isn’t strong, that I’m
unfit for mating—not that I’m thinking about mating! I mean, not to say I
wouldn’t want to mate with her, of
course I want to, she’s so beautiful! I just mean I wouldn’t make such an
assumption. She’s an independent person and I know we’re going to have a spent
a lot of time getting to know each other before we even reach that point.
Besides, I’m only trying to sell her my book. That’s all. Okay, I can save
this. I just need to subtly suggest how potent I am, and then show her how much
I’m wanted, so to create an infuriating jealousy in her.
That’ll win her
back.
“One thing you
should know is I’m a popular dude, and I’m at a point where I can’t be held
down. I gots tons of honeys running me down to read Sykosa. This isn’t ego
spitting. It’s honesty. Don’t hate the player, hate the game! I gotta play the
field. It’s me being honest with you, me showing you respect, when I say—yes—I
want you to read Sykosa, but I also want all your friends, your enemies, your coworkers,
your church friends, your Zumba classmates, your ex-lovers, your local bar
friends, and your entire Facebook friend list to read Sykosa. I even want your
mother to read Sykosa. That’s right. I want your mother and you to read it
together. Yeah, your Moms and you—reading Sykosa and talking about it and doing
it again and again! And I want you to pay me for it. I want you to go to
whatever book merchant you prefer, then pay me for Sykosa.”
Oh, God! I sound
like a pervert! And a prostitute! Oh, this is bad. This is so very, very bad,
but not like sexy bad, I mean legitimately bad. This isn’t what I’m usually
like. Okay, the key here is to be myself, that’s the key.
It’s okay, I can
fix this.
“My name is
Justin Ordoñez. I recently released a book called Sykosa (that's
"sy"-as-in-"my" ko-sa). It’s a story about a sixteen year
old girl trying to reclaim her identity after an act of violence shatters her
life and the lives of her friends. It’s been described as ‘gritty, intense and
definitely not a book I'll forget’ and ‘This book really snuck up on me. I
would find myself thinking about it when I was driving or doing other things.’
Basically, Sykosa and her friends attend a weekend-long, unchaperoned party at
Niko's posh vacation cottage, where Sykosa will confront Niko and her friends
over what happened last year. She will also have to deal with her new
boyfriend, Tom, and decide if this is the weekend she wants to lose her
virginity to him.”
Whew, that’s it.
I finished strong.
I think I might
have a shot at getting a reader.
What do you
think?
Hey!
Justin Ordoñez wrote a book called Sykosa. It’s about a sixteen year old girl
who’s trying to reclaim her identity after an act of violence destroys her life
and the lives of her friends. You can find out more about Justin at his blog, http://sykosa.wordpress.com. You can
also find Sykosa, the novel on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007N709IG/
2 comments
Anna, thanks for featuring Justin today :)
ReplyDeleteThanks as well, hope you have me back sometime!
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting! I love getting feedback or just say Hi!